- Te'oing has replaced Tebowing, owling and planking as the Internet's hot new photo trend. It involves placing your arm around an invisible girlfriend

- Dear Abby, aka Pauline Phillips, aka Abigail Van Buren, has died at the age of 94 from Alzheimer's disease. Asked about Viagra, she replied: "It's wonderful. Men who can't perform feel less than manly, and Viagra takes them right off the spot."

- 17.9 million people watched the premiere of American Idol on Wednesday. That’s down 19% from last year’s opener, which was the previous lowest-ever record-holder. The 17.8 million who tuned in still beat "The Voice," which averaged 14 million viewers last season.

- Gremlins may get a reboot as Steven Spielberg may sign over the rights to the film.

- Patrick Leach, whose mother Sheryl created Barney the Dinosaur, was recently arrested for shooting a Malibu man. Cops are still trying to determine the motive. According to TMZ, the victim was treated at UCLA and is expected to recover from his wounds.

- The LAPD rushed to Tom Cruise's house yesterday after receiving a 911 call about a gunman in the home. The call turned out to be a prank.

- Heather Locklear is joining the cast of Franklin and Bash. She will play trial lawyer Rachel King.

Lavatory Occupied: 900,000 people are expected to attend Barack Obama's second inauguration on Monday. 1.8 million attended his first one. There will be 1,500 porta potties available to supporters. In 2009, there were 5,000. According to Washington Secrets and an online calculator of one of the two major firms supplying the restrooms, United Site Services, 3,400-4,300 porta-potties would be needed for the expected crowd of 600,000-800,000.

Size Does Matter: Austria's C SEED Entertainment System has created the world's largest TV.

C SEED 201 SPECS

A 201-inch (16.75ft) screen

725,000 LEDs

It displays 4.4 trillion colors

Built-in biometric fingerprint sensors

The screen folds away in five seconds, and unfolds in 40

cost: $663,000

Tebow Headphones: Tim Tebow has launched his own line of headphones. He says, "I was so interested in having something comfortable I could practice on the field in before games. So many headphones can feel good and sound great, but when you're warming up, they fall off and that is a big distraction. We came up with these Combat models to help you keep that focus."

Unsportsmanlike Conduct: Some Falcons and Niners fans are using the NFC Championship game to score dates. Here are some Atlanta Craigslist ads

Ad #1

This Seahawks Fan Got Spanked! - w4w - 24 (Atlanta)

Just want to thank everyone who responded to my ad titled "Want to Spank a Seahawks Fan?" that ran here on CL on the 14th. I had to take a spanking as the result of losing a bet on the Atlanta-Seattle playoff game while my girlfriend watched. We received many replies from female Falcons fans wanting to administer my spanking, and some from men that were of course rejected. It was a difficult decision choosing the right one and we appreciate all the nice women who offered. As a Falcons fan the woman we selected took great delight in turning me over her lap! My girlfriend took a photo that we'll share with any women interested. By the way, now that my Seahawks are out, I'm cheering for the Falcons the rest of the way!

Ad #2

Go 49ers!!! - m4w - 20 (redwood city) - 20

watching the playoff game... was wondering if anyone is interested for some fun after im looking for NSA FWB relationship send me a pic and you get mine. please me local please write "49ers" in subject line so i know your real

Ad #3

Hi,

Chill latino at a hotel feeling really kinky. I've been with couples a few times and had alot of fun, so I'm saying the more the merrier. Cum over and join me as we watch the game and porn and eachother, open to all ideas and suggestions, and very open minded. All types welcome, I'm attractive 6ft 220, uncut, clean and shaved. Looking forward to hearing from you, not camera shy, can meet on cam too.

Saturday January 19, 2013

Prosecuting Casey Anthony on Lifetime (Prosecutor Jeff Ashton presents evidence against Casey Anthony, on trial in the murder of her 2-year-old daughter. Based on a book by Jeff Ashton, with Lisa Pulitzer. Starring: Rob Lowe, Elizabeth Mitchell, Oscar Nuñez, Marisa Ramirez, Kevin Dunn)

Saturday Night Live on NBC (Host Jennifer Lawrence; The Lumineers perform.)

Credit card companies are asking Americans to destroy their statements once they have paid their bills. They say the month of January is typically the biggest for identity theft because of all of the spending done on Christmas presents. Law enforcement officials say this year, thieves are dumpster diving and then selling personal information to people in other states.

8 Words That Will Instantly Make You Sound Smarter from collegecandy.com

1. Sequacious - Lacking independence or originality of thought. Great insult for hipsters.

2. Scaramouch - A rascal, a scamp.

3. Obsequious - Attentive to a fawning excessiveness. You know, like that creeper at the bar who won't stop buying you drinks.

4. Chachinnate - To laugh loudly or immoderately

5. Cockalorum - Nothing dirty! Cockalorum means a boastful or self-important person.

6. Calaboose - A local jail. Stay out of the calaboose kids!

7. Nugatory - Of little or no consequence. Next time someone tries to make you angry, just tell them their actions are nugatory.

8. Perfidious - Deceitful and untrustworthy, for when you've run out of words to describe your ex boyfriend.

Romance Facts Today ...

Romance fiction generated $1.36 billion in sales in the past year.

• 9,089 new romance titles were released in the past year.

• In the past year, romance was the second top-performing category on the New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly best-seller lists, beat only by the movie tie-in category.

• Romance fiction sales are estimated at $1.358 billion.

• 74.8 million people read at least one romance novel in the past year.

• Romance fiction was the largest share of the consumer market at 13.2 percent.

Old Dancer: 61 year-old Sun Fengqin has become China's oldest pole dancer. The grandmother-of-four says, "I can never say no to an audience because I love pole dancing and I love being on a stage. A friend I had known for 20 years told me I wasn't welcome any more because I might corrupt her children."

Baby Got Back: Mikel Ruffinelli has the largest hips in the world. The 40 year-old mother of four's hips measure 8 feet in circumference. She says, "My husband finds my shape sexy and we have an amazing time in bed – there’s no position we can’t do! He tells me I’m beautiful every day. Men don’t like skinny girls, they like an hourglass figure. I don’t want to get bigger, but I don’t want to lose my curves. I look great. I hope I inspire women to think, ‘She’s happy with her body and I can be too!’” Mikel is from L.A..

Charlie Sheen never rehearsed his Scary Movie 5 scene with Lindsay Lohan. He tells TheDailyBeast.com, "I felt bad for her. I was with some of her team the night before making sure she got on this plane, and all I wanted to do was rehearse the scene with her one-on-one because I have a lot of experience in this genre. But I couldn’t get her to rehearse it, so we only met in the make-up trailer about five minutes before shooting."

Room 434 at the Beverly Hills Hilton has been turned into a broom closet. Whitney Houston died in the room.

Kristen Stewart is hoping to salvage her relationship with Robert Pattinson. A source tells Hollywoodlife.com, “The relationship has issues. Kristen might not get the wedding ring she wants anytime soon, but she may be able to convince Rob to stay around. He really just wants to focus on the filming of the new movie without any other drama or stress. Again, he wants no drama while on the film, so bringing her out, he is currently against…”

Sharon Osbourne's home caught on fire yesterday after she left a candle burning. She tells TMZ, "Please everybody always check all the candles lit in the house before going to bed. I didn't, and at 5am this morning I was met with 5 gorgeous men from the BH Fire Department as they put out the fire in my house." Damage was minimal. Ozzy singed his eyebrows.

A new book, called Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & the Prison of Belief, claims John Travolta once thought about leaving the Church of Scientology so he could marry another man. Former Scientology official Jesse Prince told author Lawrence Wright, “Because of my position, I knew specifically what was said in certain auditing sessions, and I can confirm that John Travolta once threatened that he was go­ing to marry his boyfriend. There’s no question (Scientology) had a lot on John’s gay activities and used it to keep him from leaving – and to keep him in line. At one point, John was ready to erupt and said he’d get married – that he didn’t care anymore and would turn his back on them.”

Simon Cowell has purchased a racehorse. A source says, "Simon has been into racing for years. He has always wanted to be more involved than being just a punter. The opportunity came up to buy a young horse that's destined for the track and they all jumped at the chance. As for the name, that's still up in the air but they could do worse than name her after something they're all associated with, like Britain's Got Talent.''

Lady GaGa wanted Charlie Sheen to star in one of her music videos. Sheen tells TheDailyBeast.com, "We didn't share any scenes (in MAChete Kills) but I actually spoke to her on the phone. She wanted me to do a music video with her that was going to be the first X-rated video. It's her going to this strip club, with Britney Spears or somebody, and they're dancers and I'm the customer. "And she wanted to do a full striptease as a lap dance for me, and she told me, 'If there's one person that should receive this X-rated lap dance, it's you.' I was so flattered, but we never spoke again."

Lady GaGa is teaching her dog how to draw. A source tells the Sun, ''She's training up her beloved Fozzi to be a artist. She's been attaching pens to his legs and popping him on to paper. All of her crew have been treated to a portrait by him.''

Mark Wahlberg is doing a basketball movie with Justin Bieber. He says, “We had the meeting and I said, ‘Hey, by the way what do you think about me and Justin Bieber in a like Color of Money-type of basketball, street hustler movie?’ They bought it in the room in five seconds. So we developed the script, the studio loves it, his camp loves it. If I don’t do it, we will do it with him and someone else and I’ll produce it.”

Michael J. Fox was recently at a book party when someone asked if he would allow his son to date Taylor Swift even though Tina Fey and Amy Poehler told her to stay away from him at the Golden Globes. Fox said, “I don’t keep up with it all. But Taylor Swift writes songs about everybody she goes out with, right? What a way to build a career. I wouldn’t even know who she was.''

QUIKKIES COURTESY OF SHEETHAPPENS.