One person is selling their pre-ordered iPhone 5 on eBay for $1,800.

- The Obamas will visit "The View" on Tuesday

- 9.4 million people watched The X Factor on Wednesday. That's up 8% from last week. 11.2 million watched Survivor: Philippines

- Chad Johnson received probation yesterday for headbutting his ex-wife. He must also attend anger managerment counseling.

- New Jersey drivers can no longer smile when taking their license pictures because the smiles could interfere with new facial recognition software.

Phone Sex: Some freaky men are using the iPhone 5 launch to score dates. This ad appeared on Craigslist NYC.

''Naughty submissive wants to wait on line for the iPhone 5 for you. - m4w - 41 (Midtown East)''

Give me the punishment I crave, the only punishment harsh enough to teach me what a naughty boy I've been. Make me wait on line for the iPhone 5 for you. Command me to spend hours upon hours sitting on a sidewalk surrounded by people who are sublimating their childhood trauma with gadget obsession. I'm not good for anything except listening to overweight loners whisper sweet nothings to Siri like she was the lover they'll never have. Force me to breathe in the stench of friendless trolls who haven't showered in days, whose "Think Different" tee shirts are stained with hot dog ketchup, whose iPad screens are so smeared with the grime of the exhaust fumes they've been inhaling they can barely read the latest post on MacRumors. All so they can replace the phones in their pockets with one that's a few centimeters longer. There is no punishment harsher or more erotic than forcing someone to live a life of futility. Make me wait on line for the new iPhone for you. I won't read, or listen to music, or take a bathroom break. I will sit, obedient like the dog that I am, under orders to squander my life with so many others who are squandering theirs voluntarily. You can watch me or you can completely ignore me. I'll even pay for the iPhone with my own money, and when I give it to you, I want you to drop it to the ground and crush its retina display under the stiletto heel of your boot. You can spit on me too if you want, your call.

iBad: Thieves stole $100,000 worth of iPhone 5's and iPads from a Murfreesboro, Tennessee Best Buy. Sgt. Kyle Evans says, "They just come in get what they want and get out in a very quick fashion. The group managed to get into the Best Buy by ramming in a back garage door. In surveillance video you can see eight people storm the store wearing hooded sweatshirts and black ski masks. They knew exactly what they wanted to steal, how to steal them. The whole heist was done in under three minutes. The entire time mind you the store manager was sitting in front of the store waiting to open up the store for another employee to come in.''

Cue Jeopardy Music: Some iPhone fans, who started camping out on Tuesday to purchase the new phones, were mistaken for homeless people and asked to move by police. iPhone 5 line sitters are charging $150 a day. The police say thieves may steal iPhone packages left on doorsteps.

Open Mouth .. Insert Foot: TMZ claims a New York cabbie secretly recorded Paris Hilton saying, ''Gay guys are the horniest people in the world ... they're disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS." Hilton's rep says, "Paris Hilton’s comments were to express that it is dangerous for anyone to have unprotected sex that could lead to a life threatening disease. The conversation became heated, after a close gay friend told her in a cab ride, a story about a gay man who has AIDS and is knowingly having unprotected sex. He also discussed a website that encourages random sex by gay men with strangers. As she was being shown the website her comments were in reference to those people promoting themselves on the site. The cab driver who recorded this, only provided a portion of the conversation. It was not her intent to make any derogatory comments about all gays. Paris Hilton is a huge supporter of the gay community and would never purposefully make any negative statements about anyone’s sexual orientation.”

Felecia Phillips went to her 17 year-old son's bus stop on Wednesday and questioned students about who attacked him the day before. She shoved one boy before he slammed her on the ground and boarded his bus. Felecia then boarded the bus and attacked the boy. She got off the bus after the driver told her she was trespassing. Felecia was charged with child abuse and trespassing.

Text Neck

'Text Neck' is a growing problem. Dr. Dean Fishman tells CNN, "Text Neck is not just a texting problem. Text neck is a gaming problem. Text neck is an e-mailing problem. The average human head weighs 10 pounds in a neutral position -- when your ears are over your shoulders. For every inch you tilt your head forward, the pressure on your spine doubles. So if you're looking at a smartphone in your lap, your neck is holding up what feels like 20 or 30 pounds. All that extra pressure puts a strain on your spine and can pull it out of alignment.''

Daddy's Little Girl: The Athens, Georgia police recently busted Homer Parham with help from his young daughter. They went to his home to arrest him for battery and were unable to find him until his daughter said, “Mommy locked Daddy in the closet.'' Homer came out after being threatened with pepper spray.

Jennfier Aniston may wear a black wedding dress. A source tells NOW magazine, ''Jen wants to flip the script on her wedding to Brad, which was very traditional, in favour of something smaller, cooler and weirder - and it doesn't get much weirder than a black-themed do. She's even talking about a black wedding dress! It's Justin's favourite color and it's important to them both to stand out visually.''

Blake Lively may be pregnant. A source tells the NY Post, “Blake is usually really careful about what she eats, but since her wedding, she seems to be eating a lot more. Everyone on set is on bump-watch.” Blake's rep denies she is pregnant.

TMZ claims Amanda Bynes was recently booted from an L.A. spin class. She changed bikes before spending 10 minutes reapplying her makeup. The instructor booted Amanda.

Whoopi Goldberg ripped Mitt Romney yesterday when she Tweeted: "Tweet to Mitt Romney, I once had a great deal of respect for you and many of ur stances. Well Mr. Romney the man I was talking about turned into a man who flushed his ideals down the drain. Yes once I thought there was the possibility of a moderate Republican who could make the race with Obama at least interesting. But that was months ago before your desperation to be President made u forget your ideals. Yes sir a long time."

Jake Gyllenhaal says filming End of Watch changed his life. ''This movie changed my life. I mean, the experience of it... every step along the way I learned something about myself. And I saw the world in a different way. The first ride I went on I saw someone murdered. It changes your life. You don't come back from something like that and not see the world a different way. And subsequently, [watching] everything from domestic violence to stolen cars to you name it. And along with the camaraderie and the friendship and the joking and all of that, seeing that for real for five months and shooting for 22 days? And seeing it for real? I won't be the same in many, many good ways."

Tim Tebow recently told Vogue what he wants in a woman. He said, “I’ve been blessed to have an amazing mom and two amazing sisters—so they set a very high standard. Obviously looks play a big part. Being attracted to someone plays a big part, but there’s also so much more than that for me. It’s about finding someone sweet and kind—and that has a servant’s heart. It’s about finding a girl who likes me for me, and not because of what I do or who I am or the name.”

Lady GaGa may write a book. A source tells the Sun, "As she tours the world, Gaga notes everything down in her journal. It contains her thoughts, feelings, sketches, pictures and even letters between herself and mum Cynthia. She keeps it all together as a memento, so that if she ever has children they'll be able to read all about their pop star mum. Gaga also says that one day she would consider allowing it to be published, if the timing was right."

Kelly Osbourne thinks Lady GaGa is pregnant. She says, “I think she is pregnant because she has been covering up this part of her body recently and I have been noticing that a lot. Her style has changed and you can’t bleach your hair blonde when you are pregnant.”

GaGa says, “I’m dieting right now, because I gained, like, 25 pounds. And you know I really don’t feel bad about it, not even for a second. I have to be on such a strict diet constantly. It’s hard because it’s a quite vigorous show, so I tend to bulk up, get muscular, and I really don’t like that. So I’m trying to find a new balance. I love eating pasta and pizza. I’m a New York Italian girl. That’s why I have been staying out of New York. My father (Joe Germanotta) opened a restaurant. It's so amazing… it’s so freaking delicious, but I’m telling you I gain five pounds every time I go in there. So my dad wants me to eat at the restaurant, and I’m, like, 'I’ve got to go where I can drink green juice.'''

Rihanna says her tatts are spiritual. ''My tattoos are all spiritual and show how I feel about religion. I have a falcon which is an Egyptian falcon and is supposed to stand for God. I'm rebellious through my music, through my fashion, tattoos, and my hair.''

Rihanna and Chris Brown continue to talk. A source tells Hollywoodlife.com, “It’s the same old same old, one more time…they are mad cool. I don’t know what else you want me to say. They talk all the damn time on the phone, text like crazy and they just keep tabs on each other. Everybody [knows] they love each other. They [are] best friends and lovers at the same time. I know it. You know it

Shakira is being paid $12 million to judge The Voice. Usher is being paid $7 million to judge The Voice.

Taylor Swift is falling in love with Conor Kennedy. A source says, “She’s obsessed with the family. Ted Kennedy Jr. even calls her a Kennedy groupie! She’s head over heels. Conor's a smart, sensitive guy. She says it’s a fantasy come true. Taylor is very smitten.”

Steven Tyler is interested to see the new American Idol judges in action. He says, 'I think it's gonna find it's sway. They have to sit next to each other and deal with each other and get their personalities to work. We'll see what happens. [Jennifer Lopez], I and Randy -- it worked right away. I knew from having lunch with Randy that I could sit next to him in front of 40 million people watching and have fun, because he's that real. And J.Lo I was enamored by.'''

Bad News: Male Genitalia Is 10% Smaller Than It Was 50 Years Ago

We have sad news for everyone who's a fan of either possessing or enjoying large male genitalia . . .

 --According to a new study in Italy, the size of the average penis has SHRUNK by about 10% over the last 50 years.  (--The name of the organization that did the research wasn't released.)

  --The researchers aren't sure what the main cause of the shrinkage is, but they did find five factors that are linked to smaller junk:

 --Stress.

 --Smoking

 --Alcohol. 

 --Weight gain, especially around your waist.

 --And air pollution.

"Stand By Me" Tops a List of the Best Coming-Of-Age Movies

 The website Film.com has put together a list of the 50 Best Coming-Of-Age Movies.  Obviously, there's plenty of room for debate, but it's hard to argue with their #1 pick:  "Stand By Me".

  --Here's the Top 10 . . .

  #1.)  "Stand By Me",  1986

 #2.)  "Dead Poets Society",  1989

 #3.)  "The Breakfast Club",  1985

 #4.)  "Almost Famous",  2000

 #5.)  "Big",  1987

 #6.)  "The Graduate",  1967

 #7.)  "400 Blows",  1959

 #8.)  "The Goonies",  1985

 #9.)  "Carrie",  1975

 #10.)  "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" . . . which hits some theaters today.

QUIKKIES COURTESY OF SHEETHAPPENS.