Charlie Sheen has rejoined Twitter.

- Heat magazine claims Kim Kardashian spends $66,000 a year on beauty products.

- 2.4 million people watched Roseanne's roast. 6.4 mil watched Charlie Sheen's.

- Ryan Lochte is going to guest star on 90210.

- Bobby Brown is in rehab.

- Ron Palillo, who played Arnold Horshack on "Welcome Back Kotter," died yesterday of a heart attack. He was 63.
 

 Buzz Off: As school begins, some malls are once again using an ultrasonic weapon, known as The Mosquito, to deter teens from loitering. Adults and young children don't hear the high-pitched sound, but teens do.

What are the 10 Unhappiest Jobs in America?

 A website called CareerBliss just released a list of the 10 unhappiest jobs in America, based on everything from salary, to work environment, to company culture.  Security guard came in as the most miserable, nurses were second, and teachers came in third.  The rest of the list is filled with middle manager jobs, mainly in marketing.

   A website called CareerBliss just put out a list of the 10 unhappiest jobs in America.  Crack whore did not make the list.  So if your job DID, then we can only assume you're less happy than a crack whore.

 --The rankings are based on factors including salary, work-life balance, relationship with your boss, work environment, growth opportunities, and company culture.  Here's the top 10:

 #10.)  Maintenance supervisor.

 #9.)  Marketing director.

 #8.)  Director of sales.

 #7.)  Marketing manager.

 #6.)  Program manager.

 #5.)  Product manager.

 #4.)  Sales engineer.

 #3.)  Teacher.

 #2.)  Registered nurse.

 #1.)  Security guard.

Lotto Fever: Tonight's Powerball lottery drawing is worth $320 million. The winner can opt for 30 yearly payments or a lump sum of $213 million before taxes. Some people have asked employers for paycheck advances so they can purchase large amounts of Powerball tickets. The odds of winning are 1 in 176 million. Tonight's drawing is the 4th largest in Powerball history.

Other random odds from the Daily Press

The odds of being attacked by a shark, according to the University of Florida’s International Shark Attack File ... 1 in 11.5 million

If you're playing Texas Hold'em with your pals, the odds of being dealt an unbeatable royal flush are just a bit less than 1 in 650,000

The odds of rolling a 7 at the craps table in Vegas ... A very respectable 1 in 6

According to CDC data, the odds of giving birth to identical triplets are 1 in 62,500. Identical quadruplets? 1 in 15.6 million

Your odds of being struck by lightning in a year, according to the National Weather Service .. 1 in 775,000

A Golf Digest study pegged the average golfer's odds of hitting a hole-in-one at 1 in 12,000. And a PGA Tour pro's at 1 in 3,000

America's 10 Fattest Cities from Men's Health

10. (Fattest) Birmingham, AL

9. (Fattest) Houston, TX

8. (Fattest) Baltimore, MD

7. (Fattest) San Antonio, TX

6. (Fattest) Kansas City, MO

5. (Fattest) Memphis, TN

4. (Fattest) Dallas, TX

3. (Fattest) El Paso, TX

2. (Fattest) Charleston, WV

1. (Fattest) Corpus Christi, TX

America's 10 Leanest Cities from Men's Health

10. (Leanest) Aurora, CO

9. (Leanest) Denver, CO

8. (Leanest) Cincinnati, OH

7. (Leanest) Portland, OR

6. (Leanest) Albuquerque, NM

5. (Leanest) Austin, TX

4. (Leanest) Seattle, WA

3. (Leanest) Washington, DC

2. (Leanest) Burlington, VT

1. (Leanest) San Francisco, CA

Googled

A new survey by eHarmony reveals that 50% of singles Google their dates before meeting them. Other findings:

- 44% of men have played hard to get

- 89% of women and 77% of men find busy schedules unattractive

Weight Watchers

A new survey by Shape magazine reveals that 68% of women would give up lovemaking in exchange for a bikini body. Other findings:

- only 10% of women are comfortable wearing a swimsuit around a stranger

- 60% of women dieted this summer to lose weight

- 1% of women did a juice fast this summer to lose weight

- 22% of women cut carbs this summer to lose weight

Puppy Love: Kerry Brown is opening a high-end pet hotel in New York. It will feature a spa, a gym, gourmet meals, hot-oil treatments, flat-screen TVs, DVD players and queen-size beds. Some suites cost $200 a night.

The Hollywood Reporter claims Universal has shelved the Snow White and the Huntsman sequel in favor of a Huntsman movie starring Chris Hemsworth. Kristen Stewart will not be cast in any Huntsman movies.

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux may marry overseas. A source tells the Sun Times, “It will be run just like a top-secret government operation. I’m betting it will also happen somewhere overseas — where and when you least expect it!”

Justin Theroux gave Jennifer Aniston an 8 carat engagement ring. A source tells Life & Style Weekly, "It's a huge emerald-cut diamond. It's a rectangle with tapered diamond baguettes on the sides. Just after Jen got engaged, she called all her friends and told them about it. She was so happy and said she loves the ring. I think she was overwhelmed and overjoyed by the size and beauty of it!"

Robert Pattinson has agreed to meet with Kristen Stewart. A source tells heat magazine, “Rob needed time to deal with his huge shock and upset, but he’s agreed to face her. He’s back in LA [to promote his new film 'Cosmopolis']. Now he has all his friends around him, he’s started feeling stronger. He’s incredibly hurt, but he still cares about Kristen and is actually worried about how upset she has been. A reconciliation is not on the cards, but they both know they need to thrash things out.”

A source tells RADAR Online, “Just like his devout fans, Kristen tuned into Robert’s interview with Jon Stewart with drawn breath, but after seeing him deflect the questions about her, Kristen’s anxiety soon disappeared and instead she was filled with regret. While she was obviously relieved that Robert didn’t trash her, the realization that their relationship was finally over hit her hard. Kristen was praying that after the dust settled she would get another chance and she was clinging on to that hope. But she knows now that it’s not to be. Instead, she believes that they can now work on a friendship and is desperate to apologize to Robert in person for her affair with Rupert.”

Robert is going to play Lawrence of Arabia in “Queen of the Desert.”

Mel Gibson won't do Lethal Weapon 5. He says, ''No. I think the way things are going with 'Total Recall', they'll just remake those somehow. Though it's really tough to replace Danny. He was so amazing in those things. It was a good gig for us. It worked. But we knew it would. 'I had fun on every one of them and they were lucrative and good to me. And they really afforded me the opportunity to slow down and pick things and do things that really interested me.''

Ellie Goulding loves opera. She says, "It's so funny because my favorite thing to do is imitate opera singers, but I've never had a singing lesson. Oh, I had a lesson just to teach me how to breathe better, but I never really had a singing lesson."

Katy Perry's friends are worried about her dating John Mayer. A source tells the Daily Star, “John has a big reputation as a serial womaniser. If people thought her ex, Russell Brand, was bad, John is notoriously a lot worse. Katy`s friends are worried this is just a rebound bit of fun but will end with her getting really hurt.''

Rihanna was recently spotted in London wearing a shirt that featured six pictures detailing how to roll a joint.

An L.A. thief stole will.i.am's car. He Tweeted: "My car was stolen...what the f--k… Where is my f--king car...??? This isn't funny anymore ... I'm going to be optimistic and pray that my car is returned and safe... this joke is getting old..."

Will says, "I gave my car to the valet people ...and then I came out here and the valet is closed. Instead of flipping out, because I should flip out because the car cost several hundred thousand dollars ... I'm trying to stay calm."

**UPDATE**: Will's car was returned

Kelly Clarkson is in love with Brandon Blackstock. She says, "I think as you get old, you just get less worried about the little stuff that doesn't matter and you focus more on the bigger picture. And, you know, I'm also in love. I'm just super happy right now. We're very super real ' like, what you see is what you get. So I don't think we're cool enough to have something super surprising about us. One of my favorite things is we're both in the business. He gets my job and he gets how busy it can get, and he gets the sacrifices that we both have to make with our jobs."

Taylor Swift's songs contain codes. She says, ''It's pretty difficult to come up with, because I know you guys are going to figure them out. With the last album, I thought I was much more clever and cryptic than I really was. [But I'm trying to] hide little codes in lyrics. I tend to kind of skew in the direction of writing songs about love. That's kind of where I naturally go. [These songs are about] really dysfunctional and not good generally relationships. When I'm writing an album, my world becomes a big storyboard. Everyone around me has the potential to be a character.''

Elton John's son, Zachary, loves music. Elton says, “He loves the piano. He sits down and plays it. He doesn’t just bang it, he plays it. He comes out when the stadium is empty and sits down on the piano stool with me. He plays and looks into the microphone.”

A Brilliant New Dog Collar Will Send You a Text Every Time Your Dog Starts Overheating

We've got a BRILLIANT new invention to tell you about.  It's a dog collar that measures your dog's temperature and the temperature around him . . . and automatically TEXTS you when the temperature reaches the danger zone.  That danger zone is ONLY 79 degrees, by the way.  The collar will go on sale next year for $20.

 At some point this summer, you've probably walked past a car with a dog inside.  And even though the person parked in the shade and the windows were down, the poor dog inside still seemed MISERABLE.

 --That's why we LOVE this new invention, because it's going to take the guesswork out of whether your dog is getting dangerously overheated . . . and it could save their life.

 --A company called Rethink Toronto has created a new dog collar that measures a dog's temperature . . . and automatically TEXTS the owner once the dog's temperature gets into the danger zone.

  --And that danger zone is LOWER than you might think.  The collar sends out a text when the dog's temperature or the temperature around him hits 79 degrees.

  --The collar will be on sale early next year for only $20. 

SLY OPENS UP ABOUT SON’S DEATH!

Sylvester Stallone yesterday opened up about the death of his son Sage, who passed away July 13^th at the age of 36.  During an interview with Good Morning America, Sly was asked how he was doing and he replied, “hanging in there.” He added, “It's tough, it's very very tough. But if you have good friends and your family’s support, it's just something that’s a horrible situation but ... hopefully it will heal and you try to get through it but it's something that is a reality in life." Sly, whose new film The Expendables 2 opens Friday, has already jumped back into work, which he says has been helping him. Explained Sly, “It’s important to get back and try to start reliving your life, otherwise you can go into a spiral.” [See yesterday’s About Last Night morning for audio]

Q-Stallone, of course, is probably best known for playing Rocky. What was the boxer’s nickname in the film? the Italian Stallion

JEAN-CLAUDE ADMITS TO FLING WITH KYLIE MINOGUE!

Jean-Claude Van Damme admitted in a recent interview that he had an affair with pop star Kylie Minogue while they were filming the 1994 movie Street Fighter. “Let’s just say it happened, so what? Who wants to know,” he told The Guardian, while promoting The Expendables 2. “OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair.”  He added, “sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would have been abnormal not to have had an affair, she’s so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn’t acting like a big star.”  Although it unclear exactly when the fling happened, Jean-Claude married his third wife Darcy LaPier in 1994 so it is possible he cheated on her with Kylie.

Q-Kylie Minogue previously dated which French actor, who is currently engaged to Halle Berry? Olivier Martinez

BIG NAMES WANTED FOR EXPENDABLES 3!

And speaking of The Expendables 2…although the film does not come out until Friday, producers are already discussing a third installment, and have a big wish list when it comes to cast additions. “We’ve approached Clint Eastwood to be one of the guys, we’ve got a character in mind for him," producer Avi Lerner told Total Film. "We’re talking to Harrison Ford. [And we want] Wesley Snipes when he comes back from prison. I’ll give you one more name, we’ve got Nicolas Cage to play [one of the characters]."

WELCOME BACK KOTTER’S RON PALILLO DIES

Ron Palillo, best known for playing Horshack on the 70s series Welcome Back Kotter, died in Florida yesterday morning from an apparent heart attack. He was 63. According to TMZ, Palillo, whose Sweathogs character was infamous for calling out “ooh ooh ooh, Mr. Kotter,” was found by his partner Joseph Gramm at around 4 am. An ambulance was called and Palillo was rushed to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. This is the second member of the Sweathogs to pass away this year. Robert Hegyes, who played Epstein, died in January after suffering a heart attack. [See About Last Night afternoon for audio]

KIM’S COSTLY BEAUTY TREATMENTS!

There’s no question Kim Kardashian is beautiful, but all that beauty doesn’t come cheap.  According to Heat magazine, Kim spends about $100,000 a year on her looks, shelling out over $8,000 for treatments every month. Her regimen includes: 24-karat gold facials, tequila body scrubs, laser treatments, massages, hair appointments and weekly eye lash appointments, not to mention all the time she spends with her personal trainer.  Beauty also takes up a lot of Kim’s time, with the mag claiming she spends over 180 hours getting herself to look just right.

Q-We all know Kim spends plenty of time in the gym, but in 2011, she appeared in a commercial claiming she got in shape wearing what type of sneakers? Skechers ShapeUps

LOZADA FILES FOR DIVORCE/ HOPES CHAD SEEKS HELP!

Evelyn Lozada didn’t waste any time ditching her abusive husband Chad Johnson (Ochocinco). Just 41days after tying the knot, and four days after he head-butted her during an argument, Evelyn filed for divorce in Florida, claiming their marriage is “irretrievably broken.”  According to the divorce docs, the couple had a prenup.  The pair tied the knot on  July 4^th in St. Marteen.  Yesterday Evelyn has made her first comments since Chad’s arrest for domestic violence.  “I am deeply disappointed that Chad has failed to take responsibility for his actions and made false accusations against me,” she told TMZ, referring to Chad’s claims she was the one who actually did the head-butting during the incident. "It is my sincere hope that he seeks the help he needs to overcome his troubles. Domestic violence is not okay and hopefully my taking a stand will help encourage other women to break their silence as well.” And apparently, this isn’t the first time Chad’s been busted for domestic violence. According to TMZ, he was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge back in February of 2000, for allegedly slapping his girlfriend in the face after he accused her of cheating on him. The then-22-year-old Johnson pled no contest and was sentenced to three years probation.

CHAD JOHNSON APOLOGIZES!

After news of Evelyn’s divorce filing hit the press, Chad issued an apology, “to everyone for the recent events that have occurred.” He wrote on his website,  "I would like to wish Evelyn well and will never say anything bad about her because I truly love her to death,” adding, “To all the fans and supporters I have disappointed, you have my sincerest apologies.  I will stay positive and get through this tough period in my life."

CHAD CHEATING ON EVELYN FOR MONTHS PRIOR TO WEDDING!

Evelyn Lozada probably never should have married Chad Johnson (Ochocinco). Not only was he arrested Saturday for head-butting her, but Radaronline reports he was actually cheating on her up until they tied the knot in July. A 30-year-old woman named Beverly Shiner tells the site she dated Johnson from January until May of this year, after connecting with him through Twitter. Beverly claims she knew Chad was engaged, but assumed he and Evelyn had split up. She eventually realized Chad was still with Evelyn, but the affair continued. In fact, Beverly claims Chad thought it was okay to cheat, explaining “He said, ‘I’m not doing anything different than what every other man is doing.’”

RASHIDA URGES TRAVOLTA TO COME OUT, THEN APOLOGIZES!

Rashida Jones thinks superstar John Travolta needs to stop living a lie. According to Radaronline, during an interview for her new movie Celeste and Jesse Forever, Rashida mentioned how proud she was of singer Frank Ocean for admitting he was gay. Her writing partner Will McCormack then added “there needs to be, like, a professional athlete that comes out,” at which point Rashida chimed in, “and a movie star! It’s time…like John Travolta? Come out! Come on. How many masseurs have to come forward? Let’s do this.” Rashida later took to Twitter to apologize to the Pulp Fiction star, writing, “Made a thoughtless comment about John Travolta. I sincerely apologize. Nobody’s personal life is my business.”

Q-Who are Rashida Jones’ famous parents? Music producer Quincy Jones and actress Peggy Lipton

TRAVOLTA HONORED BY ZURICH FILM FESTIVAL!

John Travolta will be honored with a lifetime achievement award at the Zurich Film Festival next month. Travolta will receive the honor, called the Golden Eye, at the opening night of the festival (September 26^th), which will feature the Gala Premiere of his Oliver Stone flick Savages.

Q-What was Travolta’s character’s name in the 1994 film Pulp Fiction? Vincent Vega

SHEEN BACK ON TWITTER!

Charlie Sheen is back on Twitter.  The Anger Management star deactivated his account back in July, claiming he didn’t feel like he was getting anything out of it, but now TMZ reports he’s decided to come back. According to a source, Charlie, “misses interacting with his fans…and really wants to talk to them about important things in life.”  The insider claims that Charlie plans to keep his tweeting “professional.” In other words…boring.

Q-Sheen had a small role in this 80s comedy, starring Matthew Broderick and Jennifer Grey. What film? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

WEINSTEIN TAKES OUT RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST STALKER!

Movie mogul Harvey Weinstein and Sheryl Crow share a stalker. TMZ reports that Weinstein has obtained a restraining order against Phil Sparks, the homeless man who Crow also took out a restraining order against earlier this year. Sparks believes Weinstein and Crow have teamed up to ruin his life, believing they “robbed” him, spied on him and had him blacklisted from Hollywood. In court papers, Weinstein says he never met his stalker, but Sparks is bent on revenge, and contacted the Screen Actors Guild last month threatening to “shoot”  both him and Crow. As was the case with Crow, the judge believed Weinstein and issued a temporary restraining order against Sparks. The judge also extended Crow's restraining order to three years, forcing him to stay 300 yards away from the star.

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNERS URGE NBC TO PULL STARS EARN STRIPES!

Archbishop Desmond Tutu and eight other Nobel Peace Prize winners are protesting the new NBC series Stars Earn Stripes, which premiered Monday.  The group sent an open letter to the network urging them to pull the show, in which celebrities participate in simulated military challenges. The group claims it glorifies war and armed violence. NBC says the show “pays homage to the men and women who serve in the U.S. armed forces and our first responder services,” but the group argues “the program pays homage to no one anywhere,” adding that it is “trying to somehow sanitize war by likening it to an athletic competition.” NBC has responded by saying Stars Earn Stripes is “about thanking the young Americans who are in harm’s way every day,” adding, “This show is not a glorification of war, but a glorification of service.”

Q-One of the participants on Stars Earn Stripes is the husband of what former Vice Presidential candidate? Sarah Palin (her husband Todd is on the show)

TV TIDBITS!

● Zach Braff will reunite with his Scrubs best bud Donald Faison, when he makes a guest appearance on Faison’s TV Land comedy The Exes.  Braff will play Chuck Feeney, a pro tennis player and client of Phil’s (Faison), who is known as a ladies man but is really more of a “man’s man.” Braff will appear on the August 29^th episode.

● Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte will guest star on an October episode of the CW’s 90210. The swimmer will make a cameo as himself in the October 29^th episode, popping up at a resort where Naomi (AnnaLynne McCord) and Max (Josh Zuckerman) are staying to strengthen their relationship. The season premiere of 90210 airs Monday, October 8^th.

QUIKKIES COURTESY OF SHEETHAPPENS